#116. Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937)

"Magic Mirror on the wall, who is the fairest one of all?" - Evil Queen

Grade: ★★★★☆  
 
There are probably a handful of movies that I can say actually changed my life. This is one of them.

It was the first movie my mom ever took me to see in the theaters. And it was the start of my love of all things Disney.

We arrived 15 or so minutes late and the theater manager agreed to let us stay for the first 20 minutes of the next showing.

My mom agreed, but she made me PROMISE that I would not cry or ask to stay and see the whole movie again. I was five. Of course I promised. Aaaand, of course I cried and begged to stay to see the rest of the movie again. (We didn't).

I remember the scene that was playing when we got there was one of the scary scenes. Snow White was running through the forest trying to escape the Huntsman and the woods were attacking her. (There seems to be a theme with me and the woods attacking girls -- see The Evil Dead). She makes it through the Haunted Forest and a bunch of animals wake her up and take her to a seemingly abandoned cabin in the woods. There's a long sequence of Snow and all the woodland creatures cleaning the place (because I want birds and chipmunks licking my dishes clean).

Eventually, the owners of the cabin come home from a long day of diamond mining and of course, they welcome Snow into their home with open arms, as long as she continues to cook and clean for them. Grumpy was a little hesitant, but he eventually warms up to her. 

Here's where it gets good. The Evil Queen finds out that the Huntsman tricked her and didn't really cut out her heart (this is a children's movie, right?). The Mirror reveals that she's still alive, so naturally she decides to take matters into her own hands. If you want someone killed right, you've got to do it yourself. It is here that we learn the Evil Queen dabbles in the Dark Arts. She turns herself into an old hag (IRONY), grabs a poison apple and heads off to the dwarfs' cabin in the woods.

I think we all know how the rest of the story goes. Snow takes a bite, drops dead, the dwarfs are pissed, kill the Queen (isn't that kind of illegal?), the Prince shows up at the very end, kisses her, she wakes up and they live happily ever after. 

Then I saw the first part of the movie where we establish that the Queen is really, really vain and does not care for Snow White at all. Snow meets the Prince for exactly one song and falls madly in love with him. 

The Queen makes a deal with the Huntsman that he will take Snow out into the woods and bring back her heart. He feels guilty and so he tells Snow what's what and that she should hightail it out of the kingdom. Being the drama queen that she is, Snow starts to have a panic attack while running through the woods. Trees are grabbing her, logs look like crocodiles -- "OK, Kevin, it's time to go." "Can't we just stay for a few more minutes?" "No, let's go." Cue the waterworks...

It was this moment that I fell in love with all things Disney. This has stayed with me all my life and 6 years ago I made my dream of working for the Walt Disney Studios a reality. It's not always pixie dust and singing forest critters, but I've made some great friends there and I still love my job.

Why you should watch Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs: It's a piece of cinematic history that firmly established Disney as one of the foremost studios in the world.

Why you should skip it: It was Adolf Hitler's favorite movie. Compared to animated films today, it's a little slow.

Did you know? The profits from this movie went to build the Disney Studios in Burbank, CA.

U.S. / RUNNING TIME: 83m

PRODUCER: Walt Disney

SCREENPLAY: Ted Sears, Richard Creedon

CAST: Roy Atwell, Stuart Buchanan, Adriana Caselotti, Eddie Collins, Pinto Colvig, Marion Darlington, Billy Gilbert, Otis Harlan, Lucille La Verne, James MacDonald, Scotty Mattraw, Moroni Olsen, Harry Stockwell
OSCAR: (honorary award - one statuette, seven miniature statuettes)
OSCAR NOMINATION: Frank Churchill, Leigh Hairline, Paul J. Smith (Music)

#705. The Evil Dead (1981)

"You bastards, why are you torturing me like this? Why?" - Ash

Grade: ★★★☆☆ 

That's kind of  how I felt while re-watching this movie. I remember watching this in my younger days thinking this was one of the scariest movies I had ever seen. There were still some creepy moments, but overall it was more laughable than horrific.

The story begins, as most horror movies from the 80s begin, with a group of "teenagers" heading into the woods for a weekend getaway in an abandoned cabin. One of the first obstacles they encounter is a sign on a very questionable bridge that reads "DANGEROUS BRIDGE TRAVEL AT  OWN RISK." If I had been driving the car, this would have been a very short movie. I don't like driving over NORMAL bridges, let alone ones that are made out of left-overs. Planks were literally falling into the water as they drove over it!

So, the 5 "kids" (Ash, Scotty, Shelly, Linda and Cheryl) arrive at the cabin and hang out. I forget why but someone has the bright idea to check out the creepy cellar. They find a book and an old tape player with a reel-to-reel tape.  They listen to the creepy guy on the tape talk about the book that they believe is bound in human skin and written in blood. I forget what they called the book in this movie, but I believe later in the trilogy it is come to be known as the Necronomicon, meaning The Book of the Dead. Interestingly enough, that was also the original title of the movie, but the filmmakers feared that kids would be turned off by the literary reference in the title. 

Cheryl, who is the fifth wheel in this group of 2 couples, seems to be the only one with any sense. She keeps yelling for them to "turn it off!" as the creepy guy on the tape is reciting passages in Sumerian. Oh! He also described how he had to dismember his wife because she became possessed by something. Meanwhile, you get a POV in the forest of something (presumably the titular presence) awakening. Eventually, the creepy guy reciting Sumerian and Cheryl's hysterical screaming reaches a fever pitch just as a tree comes crashing through the window! 

Everybody has now decided it's time to go to bed. Cheryl is in her sad little room all by herself when she hears something outside her window growl "join us." Naturally, she decides to go outside and investigate. It was at this point that I lost all respect for Cheryl and decided she deserved whatever was waiting for her in the woods. So, she goes outside into the dark woods wearing nothing but her robe and an '80s nightgown, saying things like "who's out there?" and "I can hear you." All of a sudden trees start falling and vines start wrapping themselves around her arms and legs! These trees are pissed! And a little bit horny (Cheryl wasn't all that cute). They first rip off her robe and then force her to the ground. There's a disturbing shot of a branch impaling her "down there." But what was even more disturbing were the noises that Cheryl was making. She seemed to like it!! Kind of ironic that she was the only single person on the trip and also the only one who saw any action all weekend.  

OK, disturbing scene only lasted a few minutes (typical trees). Cheryl gets up and staggers back to the cabin. Weakened by her ordeal, she's covered in scrapes and ripped clothing. Something OBVIOUSLY happened to her in the woods. We now cut to a POV of the evil presence of the woods chasing Cheryl back to the cabin! Cheryl reaches the door, but of course it's locked! There's a whole struggle with the keys, all the while she's banging on the door screaming bloody murder! It is at this point that I realized  her friends either did not like her or they were complete a-holes. The cabin was not that big. We already established that no one was asleep. And yet, no one was opening the door for her! I imagined they were all on the other side having a big laugh. Finally, Ash opens the door and lets her in. 

Now, this has never happened to me, but if I were in a creepy cabin in the woods and one of my friends tells me they were RAPED by said woods, it would be time to call it a weekend and get the heck outta there! Cheryl has regained her senses and demands that Ash drive her out of there immediately. I'm not sure why everyone doesn't come along, but they decide they're going to stay in the cabin in the rape-y woods. Ash and Cheryl try to leave, but, uh oh! Remember that bridge? Well, it's completely demolished now! Oh well, back to the cabin! 

Cheryl's obviously a headcase now. She's staring out the window while Linda and Shelly play cards. THEY'RE PLAYING CARDS! Ladies, your friend was just raped by trees. Maybe be a little more supportive! Anyway, Linda's trying to guess the cards that Shelly's holding up. Shelly's a big fat liar and tells Linda she's guessing all the cards even though they're all wrong. Linda's all excited that she has "an extra sense, like ESP." Ash could give a flying F. Meanwhile, Cheryl, who we now find out is possessed by trees or something starts guessing all the cards in the correct order! Spooky. She then twirls around, head cocked, eyes completely white and, oh yeah, she's floating like 6 inches off the ground. She says some scary stuff and then the guys get thrown into bookcases (this happens a lot). They eventually knock her out and she lands by a bunch of pencils (this is going to be important in about 2 seconds). Ash and Linda go to check her out. We all know she's not dead. Heck, THEY should know she's not dead! She was just floating and she threw 2 grown men across a room! A little bump on the head did nothing to her! Cheryl grabs a pencil (see) and stabs it into Linda's ankle and really goes to town on it! It was pretty cringe-worthy. Some other stuff happens and Cheryl ends up in the cellar. The door to the cellar is held closed by an old rickety chain, so it opens a couple of inches -- just enough for you to see her creepy eyes. 

There's a point in the movie where Cheryl is all "Ashley, let me outta here. I'm alright now." Well, I didn't realize until I watched this clip that Cheryl was Ash's sister. I guess that makes sense, but Ash should have been a little more upset that his sister was raped and possessed by trees! Anyway, like a fool, Ash falls for it and guess what happens! 

 

  
The movie pretty much goes downhill for everybody else after that. Someone ends up in several pieces and buried behind the cabin. Someone else gets beheaded with a shovel. Some other people decompose. If you're familiar with the trilogy, you know that Ash is the hero of the story. If you've never seen it. Sorry. Spoiler alert. 

I learned a few interesting tidbits after watching this time around. Apparently, after principal photography wrapped and all the actors went their separate ways, Sam Raimi decided that he wasn't finished with his movie. So, at several points throughout the film you'll see stuntmen dressed as possessed women. It's pretty obvious when you see a girl with straight hair in one shot and then wearing a curly wig in the next. They also went back and forth on the style of make-up for the possessed. So, in one shot they look like lizard-skinned zombies and in another shot they look like possessed baby dolls.  

The nostalgia factor played a big role for me. I still enjoyed the movie, but would rather have watched it with someone else who could have appreciated the campiness of it all. Maybe I'll have a movie night and screen a double, or triple, feature. 

Why you should watch The Evil Dead: It is a horror cult classic. It was also Sam Raimi's first film. You may know him from such blockbusters as Darkman and Spider-Man 3.

Why you should skip it: Well, it didn't necessarily stand the test of time.

Did you know? Creamed corn dyed green was used as zombie guts. Yum!

U.S. / RUNNING TIME: 85m

DIRECTOR: Sam Raimi

PRODUCER: Sam Raimi, Bruce Campbell, Robert Tapert and Gary Holt

SCREENPLAY: Sam Raimi

CAST: Bruce Campbell, Ellen Sandweiss, Richard DeManincor, Betsy Baker, Theresa Tilly