#723. The Big Chill (1983)

 "Amazing tradition. They throw a great party for you on the one day they know you can't come." - Michael

That one quote pretty much sums up the entire movie.

The opening title sequence features what appears to be someone getting dressed. Then, ew, you realize it's a dead body! What you don't realize is that dead body is actually Kevin Costner (you never see his face and all his scenes were deleted).

I don't really know what to say about this movie. Sure, it was good. The soundtrack is amazing (probably better than the movie). I remember both being a "phenomenon" back in high school, but more a movie for my mom than for me. I was too busy watching Return of the Jedi for the 19th time. The best comparison for this movie is that it was The Breakfast Club for our parents. It featured an all-star cast - you know this because all of their names are in bold on the poster. Speaking of the poster, how Photoshopped does William Hurt look?

As far as plot, a group of college friends reunite for the funeral of another friend who committed suicide. They turn into the houseguests who won't leave - who even invited them to stay all weekend?? - and talk about how much they've changed over the years. Oh, and there's a lot of Motown and making pasta.

Let's not forget Glenn Close pimping out her husband, Kevin Cline, to Mary Kay Place so she could get pregnant. You know, Glenn, even in the '80s, I'm pretty sure artificial insemination was a thing. 

You can't talk about this movie without mentioning the soundtrack. It featured soul, R&B and pop-rock classics and was pretty much required to be in everyone's households in the eighties. Even though it wasn't on the initial soundtrack release (it later showed up on the Deluxe Edition) I love the use of "You Can't Always Get What You Want" by the Rolling Stones at the funeral / procession. 

Those shorts.

Overall, I enjoyed the movie enough. I'm not sure I would have included it on this list if it were up to me. But, if you're feeling nostalgic for the '80s (or the '60s), pop open a bottle of wine, enjoy the soundtrack, and be prepared for Glenn Close's creepy expressions while her husband is boning her friend in the other room.

Grade: ★★★☆☆

U.S. / RUNNING TIME: 105 minutes

PRODUCER: Michael Shamberg

DIRECTOR: Lawrence Kasdan

SCREENPLAY: Lawrence Kasdan & Barbara Benedek

CAST: Tom Berenger, Glenn Close, Jeff Goldblum, William Hurt, Kevin Cline, Mary Kay Place, Meg Tilly, JoBeth Williams

RELEASE DATE: September 28, 1983

BOX OFFICE: $56,399,659

OSCAR NOMINATIONS: Best Picture, Best Actress in a Supporting Role (Glenn Close), Best Original Screenplay

#73. Freaks (1932)

"We accept you! One of us! Gooble, gobble!" - The Freaks

I first heard of this movie back in college when I worked as a clerk at the local Video Warehouse. I was really into horror movies, and so my co-workers were always telling me to watch this. For some reason, it was never on my shortlist of must-see movies. Perhaps it was that it had been built up in my head as this truly horrific movie with real side-show freaks, and I was maybe a little too scared to watch it. Plus, I seem to recall thinking it was a documentary. It isn't. 

So, now I've finally seen it (after having the Netflix DVD for over a year). Was it worth the hype? Sure. But was I "freaked out" by it? (Sorry, I couldn't resist). No, not really.

I was a little torn by how to feel about this movie. Was the director exploiting these people who were born with physical abnormalities? It's hard to tell. After all, the "bad guys" of the movie were two of the "normal" looking circus performers.

The main plot centers around the beautiful and conniving trapeze artist Cleopatra, who discovers that Hans, one of the circus dwarfs, has recently inherited a large sum of money. She then begins to plot with Hercules, the strong man, to marry and kill Hans. Not all of the "normals" in this movie are evil, though. Venus (I'm not sure what her job was) and Phroso (a clown) were very kindhearted and treated everyone with respect. It was hard for me to accept Phroso as a good guy, because you first see him in his make-up, and it was terrifying.

The plot was a little uneven as they kept weaving in vignettes of life with the "freaks" to showcase their talents with that of the main story of Hans and Cleopatra.

I won't spoil the ending for anyone, but it felt sort of like a really good episode of "The Twilight Zone." The aspect of this movie that sets it apart is that director Tod Browning employed real people with abnormalities as the "Freaks," but it was the "normal" people in the movie who were the real monsters.

Upon first release, the movie was not well received and lost a ton of money. It wasn't until the early '60s, and throughout the '70s and '80s, that it was rediscovered and gained cult status. There were several scenes that were banned from release and have since been lost, and the ending was changed three times.

Grade: ★★★★☆

Why you should watch Freaks: I would really only recommend this if you love horror movies. Or if you're watching with a bunch of friends and turn it into a drinking game. Everything's better with booze.

Why you should skip it: Bad acting. Cleopatra is just the worst.

Did you know? In the United States, this film was banned in a number of states and cities. Although no longer enforced, some of the laws were never officially repealed. Therefore, it is still technically illegal for this film to be shown in some areas of the US.

U.S. / RUNNING TIME: 64 minutes

PRODUCER: Tod Browning

SCREENPLAY: Clarence Aaron "Tod" Robbins, from his novel Spurs

CAST: Wallace Ford, Leila Hyams, Olga Baclanova, Henry Victor, Harry Earles, Daisy Earles

RELEASE DATE: February 20, 1932

BUDGET: $316,000

#381. Black Sunday [La Maschera del Demonio / Revenge of the Vampire] (1960)

"You too can feel the joy and happiness of hating." - Princess Asa

 Grade: ★★★☆☆

I'm usually not a fan of dubbed foreign movies. If I'm going to watch a foreign language film, I'd prefer to read the subtitles than suffer bad dubbing. So, that's my biggest complaint about Black Sunday. It's a classic Italian horror film that was shot in English, dubbed in Italian, then re-dubbed in English for the American release. It was a big hit in the '60s, and was actually banned in the UK for several years for its violence. One scene in particular was chosen as one of Bravo TV's 100 Scariest Movie Moments. I guess by 1960's standards, the opening scene was pretty gruesome, and I will admit that I averted my eyes for a moment.

The movie starts in Moldavia in 1630 with an ominous voiceover describing witch (or vampire) burnings, and how sometimes even family members were turning on each other to repel the demons. Cut to Princess Asa (played by Barbara Steele) and her boyfriend Javuto, who are in the process of being burned alive by Asa's brother. Now most witch-burnings end with the accused witch proclaiming their innocence to the very end. Not this one. Asa was all "F-you and your entire family!" So, she cursed her brother and his entire family line, declaring that one day she would return. He sees her curse and raises her one mask of Satan that he literally hammers into her face. Aaand that would be the scene that made it onto the 100 Scariest Movie Moments list.

Fast forward 200 years and we meet two doctors on their way to a conference in a nearby town. The older doctor, Kruvajan, insists they take a shortcut through the haunted forest. Sounds like a solid plan. Surprise, surprise, the inept carriage driver hits a log or a tree or something and the wheel comes out of its socket. So, instead of helping the poor guy, the two doctors decide to go rummage through the nearby dilapidated cathedral. Again, real solid, guys. They come across a tomb that houses the witch from the beginning of the movie. She's inside a fancy coffin with a window and a cross that keeps her from coming back from the dead. Young, attractive doctor, Gorobec, is wandering around while older doctor is still inspecting the witch's coffin, when older doctor is attacked by a huge bat! OK, I would have freaked out, too, but he just starts swinging at it and ends up breaking the cross and the window on the coffin! Oh, hey, since the window's broken, we may as well remove this mask of Satan from the 200-year-old corpse. What could go wrong? Seriously, where did these guys get their degrees? Eventually, the carriage guy shows up and tells them they need to leave. That's when we are introduced to Katja (also played by Barbara Steele). She's hanging out with her dogs in front of the church and immediately falls in love with the young, attractive doctor. I forget exactly what she said, the point of her being there was to reveal to the audience that she was the spitting image of Asa.

They eventually leave the church so that Asa can grow some eyeballs and call her boyfriend from beyond the grave. He climbs out of his grave (he wasn't a witch, so all he got was the Satan mask and buried in the ground) and starts killing people. But he has a plan. Everything is in order to help Asa completely come back from the dead. She's currently still trapped in her coffin for some reason. Cramps, I guess.

We meet Asa's father, who I'll call Prince Exposition because he tells us the entire story of Asa and her boyfriend and how their entire family is cursed because of what their great-great-great-great grandfather did. Asa also has a brother, Constantin. The undead boyfriend has made his way to the castle and now he has to get Katja to Asa's tomb so she can possess her body and live eternal life.

"I've been dead for 200 years, is there something on my face?"

SPOILER ALERT: the brother, father and older doctor die, Asa possesses Katja and the young doctor is very sad that the love of his life, whom he just met the night before is also dead. The angry villagers show up with torches and pitchforks (they found one of the Prince's servants murdered in the river and I forget why they immediately went to this abandoned church). Young doctor was able to convince them that Asa was in fact Asa and not Katja, because she was not wearing Katja's crucifix. These villagers were apparently in the bonfire-building business, because they were able to build one in no time! When it comes to witch-burnings, apparently the second time's the charm, because this one took. I think it had something to do with them killing her before sundown after she possessed Katja. Young doctor looks up and realizes that Katja is still alive. Hurray! The end!

This was a fine piece of Italian gothic horror, and also Tim Burton's favorite horror film. I can see that. I felt like I was watching the security camera from a Hot Topic. It was entertaining, and, like I said, I needed to avert my eyes a couple of times.

Why you should watch Black Sunday: I would really only recommend this to horror aficionados. 

Why you should skip it: Bad dubbing and the story wasn't very original.

Did you know? Barbara Steele would not get the scripts in advance. She would be given pages daily, and therefore had no idea what the story of the movie was.

Italy / RUNNING TIME: 87 minutes

PRODUCER: Massimo de Rita, Samuel Z. Arkoff (US version)

SCREENPLAY: Ennio de Concini, Mario Serandrei, Marcello Coscia (uncredited)

WRITTEN BY: Mario Bava (uncredited)

CAST: Barbara Steele, John Richardson, Ivo Garrani, Arturo Dominici

RELEASE DATE: 11 August 1960

BUDGET: $100,000

BOX OFFICE: ITL 139 million